Maybe they believe that others will react the way they would in a similar situation. Like, if a guy abuses you and you react by punching him, you'd expect to be punched when you abuse someone else.
And if you thank a guy when he helps you, you expect a thanks from the one you help as well.
A lot of times we hear people say, How can he do such a thing? I'd never do it, in fact, I have never done such a thing.'
When you go out with your girl, you expect some level of intimacy, like holding hands or romantic talk or discussion on very personal issues. So, when some guy takes your girl out just as a 'friend', you think, if it were me, I would've have tried to get close to her. So you expect this guy to try to get close to her. And you obviously don't wanna share your hard-earned girl with
anyone. She can only be yours and by letting her go out with her so-called guy friend, you think you'd have to compete for her all over again.
Or worse, you might think that your girl will succumb to the other guy's charms. Or the guy will force her into a compromising position. So, basically, you're afraid of losing your girl. She wont be 'only yours' anymore.
And this is why, you won't allow her to go out with any guy, alone or even in a group.
But think before you do this.
Ask yourself some questions before you react when your girl tells you about her guy friend. (we'll assume that the guy has bad intentions, because he's asked your girl out even after knowing you exist.)
- You think your girl is dumb that she wouldn't know the difference between a 'good touch' and a 'bad' one?
If yes, then she probably has no idea what's going on between you two either.
- Will she actually continue her friendship with him once she understands his intentions?
If yes, then have you ever thought, what she thinks about you? What are you for her?
- Do you think she'll cheat on you?
Is your love so weak that you don't trust her at all?
If so, you two probably don't deserve each other.
- Are you not giving her enough time, emotional support and everything she expects from a man? Is that why she's looking for these things outside of the relationship?
Talk.
If you're feeling insecure, talk. It doesn't matter what the outcome of this talk is. It'll only be good for the both of you.
If you love each other truely, she'll try to spend more time with you than with her friends and you'll trust her with guys she chooses using her own judgement. She chose you using her judgement, you really think she can't judge well? Don't challenge her judgement, you'll be
challenging your own status.
And if the outcome of the talk makes both of you realise that you can't trust each other at all, there's no love present, it's gone. So the best thing to do is to end the relationship and get yourselves out of the misery.
You'll have to realise one thing here though. If it hurts when you leave your loved one, it's not love, it's selfishness, it's the dependence on the other, which again means selfishness.
Love means wanting good things for your loved one. You should be happy to get her out of this misery.
Stop thinking about how you'll survive, think about her if you really love her.
And if you can't let her go, it was never love, it was a desire. You just wanted her, never loved her.
I keep referring to it as 'misery' because before your infatuation stage is over, the foundation of love should ideally have already been established. And this love should be strong enough to not let anything or any person shake your trust in each other. Because if love hasn't developed and you've passed out of the infatuation stage, then it'll be a torture to live together.
So understand, love does follow infatuation.
Some arrive there early, some later and some never. Also, it's not necessary that both the partners reach the stage together.
So if the infatuation stage is over and one of you has still not reached the love stage, it'll be a misery for that partner.
I think you got my point.
If you're jealous, you have to get a reality check on your relationship.
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